Season 2 Episode 37: The Trio Goal Setting

Welcome to Tea, Toast and Trivia.

Thank you for listening in.

I am joined by my mother, Frances, and my sister, Sarah, to discuss goal setting.  We want to seek progress, to live our best lives, to be recognized and valued for our contributions.  There are many ideas and opinions about goal setting.    We would love to hear your thoughts on TeaToastTrivia.com.

So put the kettle on and add to the conversation. I am your host Rebecca Budd and I am looking forward to sharing this moment with you.

30 Comments

  1. Jean-Jacques says:

    You are indeed an adventurist an inventively creative person, Rebecca. So wanting to seek progress, to live your best life or lives, to be recognized and valued for your contributions, in your world is merely a continuation and or acceleration of a work in progress. Thus so of what I’ve known you to be doing, since all the years we have had contact.
    Easy for me to site the example of your developed and ever increasing interest in poetry as one of your many contributions … That to which your many and varied interesting followers can add, as your numerous other contributing endeavors and achievements. Looking forward to what follows!

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    1. Clanmother says:

      I got goosebumps when I read your words: “in your world is merely a continuation and or acceleration of a work in progress.” Sarah, my sister, and I were discussing the idea of living in the now. Some would say that we must focus all our attention on the now, the immediate and not look back or to the future. There is merit in this thought, but then I realized that we are a result of the events, experiences, emotions, joys, tragedies, of the past. While we cannot dwell in the past, we must celebrate that we have lived. And we must, in some way prepare for the future by living with a compassionate heart and choosing wisely in the now. We are a continuation… and we live in a accelerating world. Thank you for adding depth and breadth to my experience.

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    2. Well said, Jean-Jacques! My sentiments exactly.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jean-Jacques says:

    Just a soupçon of interpretation on living in the now, as in the present. The idea of this philosophy, correct in the absolute of its intention, thus as it should be, was never intended to be so narrow, as a robot program per say. We are still human, at least as of now, and our memorable past in which we’ve invested a major portion of who we are, will not ans should not let you ignore its contribution, to who you are now. As well that you may dream of a future worthy of what you built in the past to arrive at your present now, is what may well escort you and those dear to you into a livable and again worthy future. All of the aforementioned never stopped anyone of sound mind, of living in the now. I speak of someone who has never lived any other way but in the now, which I will do until I am no more. All the while keeping you in mind since back then and of what we may be pleasuring about tomorrow, next week, next year and so on, and may it always be so from NOW on… To be whole, is to be part of all three, past present and future!

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    1. Clanmother says:

      Oh how very well said, Jean-Jacques. Thank you for adding to this conversation in the “now.” Part of the joy of the now, is knowing that there will be many more “news” in the future, “until we are no more.” As Emile Zola once declared: “If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud.”

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      1. “I came to live out loud.” I love this!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Clanmother says:

        And we are doing that ever day that meets us in the morning, Liz!

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  3. It’s exhilarating to listen to gentle lessons, like evocative essays, of personal pursuits and attainment – of joy and living in the moment.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Clanmother says:

      I am so glad that you listened in, Jo. I have enjoyed my conversations with Sarah and Frances over the years and I’m delighted that they have agreed to podcast with me. While our life is defined by our choices, the goals we set and the careers we chose, joy comes when we find peace within ourselves and with others that share our journey. Thank you to you and Carina for adding joy to my life. Been reading about stoicism in these days of solitude. This is from Marcus Aurelius “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

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      1. It’s my pleasure to listen to your podcasts – distinct subjects and joyful feels. Thanks to all the three Graces. I also appreciate the thought behind the quote….. Jo

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    2. I like how you put this, Jo.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Clanmother says:

        So do I, Liz!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. A wonderful conversation, Sarah, Frances and Rebecca. I love the idea of small goals. During these days of mostly staying at home, even taking a shower and getting dressed can be a goal and a challenge for some people. Definitely. “the goal is the moment.” I find this with Chris learning piano in his ‘old’ age. Every little moment of success is so gratifying and I appreciate all the effort he puts into getting it right. We only have so much time on this earth, so it behoves us to make it as exciting as we can by setting ourselves these daily goals. Frances, you are amazing to be teaching yourself tatting. I think it looks a bit like crochet, but far more intricate. Good for you! 🙂

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    1. Clanmother says:

      You are so right – every little moment of success is so gratifying and the effort is what is essential in finding the joy of accomplishment. The idea of success has a tendency to be wrapped up in competition and benchmarks. Measurement systems have their place, but when I have used them to place a value on my effort, I have felt out of sync for there is always someone greater or lesser. And that fact has nothing to do with giving validation to my efforts, the incremental tasks that will lead to something meaningful. I am with you, Sylvia – we must make our time exciting by setting ourselves these daily goals. These past weeks, I have been tasting different teas to explore the subtleties and nuances of the different blends. It has been so interesting. Tell Chris that we are very pleased with his progress. He is amazing – and so are you. Hugs and more hugs!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I will definitely tell Chris. I encourage him daily. I like your idea of becoming an expert tea taster. 👏🏻🤗

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      2. If I remember correctly, wasn’t one of your TTT episodes devoted to discussing different types of tea?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Clanmother says:

        You have a marvelous memory Liz. Yes – Constant Comment and Lapsang Souchong, and a couple more. There are so many stories in the a cup of tea.

        “dozing on horseback
        smoke form the tea-fires
        drifts to the moon”
        Matsumoto Basho

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      4. I remember the scenery I was driving by as I listened to you talk about the history of tea!

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  5. Mary Jo Malo says:

    What a touching and meaningful podcast. Yes our values determine our goals, and the present is important for looking back on the little steps that got us here and for looking ahead to fulfilling our biggest goal. I think it was Sarah who said, twice I think, that we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. This is especially important to me, since my dear sister passed recently and unexpectedly. We had neglected our relationship for far too long and made it a point this past year to talk almost daily and catch up on years past. Our little goals were met with each sweet, nostalgic conversation, and the big goal to cherish each other forever was met. Thank you, Trio, for always reminding us that love is the value that sustains us. Hugs to everyone!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Clanmother says:

      We are all sending our hugs back with speed and gratitude. How wonderful you were able to share poignant and joyful moments with your dear sister. Our heartfelt condolences for her passing. I agree – we do not know what tomorrow will bring and it is in our acceptance of this axiom that we find consolation. These past weeks, I have been revisiting the stoic philosophers of the past. This thought from Marcus Aurelius has been in my mind of late: “Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together,but do so with all your heart.” I am delighted that fate has brought us together and that we are sharing the journey forward. Hugs and more hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mary Jo Malo says:

        🤗🤗🤗

        Liked by 1 person

    2. It’s good that you were able to reconnect with your sister, Mary Jo. It’s so hard to lose a sibling. I still miss my brother every day.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Mary Jo Malo says:

        Thank you, Liz. Every day ❤️

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  6. As I reflected on the podcast and the ensuing discussion, it occurred to me that in the online writing community, the majority of writers set their writing goals by number of words or pages in a given period of time. With the exception of research for fiction, which is task-based, I set my writing goals goals based on time. If it takes me eight hours to get one paragraph exactly right, I’ve met my goal of writing for eight hours.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Clanmother says:

      An excellent insight, Liz. Your strategy is fluid, more open to creative endeavor because it allows for reflection and iteration. Over the years, humanity has become attached to numerical benchmarks, based on standard deviation, modeling, samples, data collecting etc. I am not surprised that number of words would be a way in which writers would use to set a personal goal. It is a great way to keep focused. The caveat with numbers come with comparison, not only with others but, more concerning, with ourselves. If a writer does not reach their writing goal, frustration may be the result unless there was another measurement system in place. Your writing goal is based on something that cannot be captured within a number. It is when your heart, mind, and will come together an pronounce the goal has been achieved. Thank you for adding depth and breadth to this conversation.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, Rebecca. I do see writers beat themselves up all the time for not reaching what (in my estimation) is an arbitrary word-count number. Quantifying learning with grades is another attempt at benchmarking that oftentimes does more harm than good. Of course, quantitative reasoning is an essential part of our lives, but there is value in that which cannot be quantified.

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      2. Clanmother says:

        How very true, Liz. In our desire for certainty, we forget that some things will never be understood.

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